I SHOULD THANK MY LUCKY STARS

emptymasks

no but izzy crying, the tears in his eyes building as he knows what everyone is saying about ed is true but he doesn't want to break and cry in front of them, but if he did they wouldn't laugh at him anymore because this isn't the same as everyone cackling 'dizzy izzy' and trying to throw him off the ship, this is them and their bonds of friendship and love extending towards him now, they care about him now, and he cares about them now, and if he wants them all to make it out of this alive he's got to kill off the part of him that's blackbeard's loyal little dog, and he's being hugged and his hand is being held and he's letting his hand being held, he's gripping the hand back just thinking about holding izzy's hand, thinking about the crew finding some wood from one of stede's fancy tables and crafting it into a prosthetic for his leg and making him a crutch, making padding from a mast to put on the top to make it more comfortable, later on one of them taking the time to carve out something that resembles a leg and foot, checking on his bandages as the wound heals, helping redress it, just people helping izzy and him finally understanding that it's okay to let people care about you and that it's okay to care about other people and just feeling as though he's got some sort of support system, some sort of family

mailperson

This is what that baldurs gate vampire looks like to me

kath-trashh

disco elysium style portraits for my baldurs gate party

onwardmeteors

no cause the i'm-sorry dance is cute and hilarious but it also GETS me because we are literally shown, right in our faces, how aziraphale and crowley don't really talk to each other, in the first episode. they've disagreed so often over thousands and thousands of years that they mutually decided to stop talking about it, and came up with a quirky shorthand that's literally just "i was wrong, you were right:" short, impersonal, black-and-white, ceding control to the other person while not addressing the root of the problem even a little bit (and no wonder you two keep having The Same Arguments if this is how you deal with it!). no one gets to say how they feel, no one gets to explain themselves, it's just "taken as said," because they don't think they need to say anything more. that's the pitfall of having known each other so long, of assuming you've tread every possible path already and that the only issue is the waste of time a real conversation would take. they've literally been doing the same dance around each other for centuries.

xenosagaepisodeone

I’m unsure what I could say about Possession (1981) that would be unique enough to warrant a post about it. The camerawork was brilliant and I loved the small acknowledgement of it’s intentionally surreal quality (when Margit comments that that Anna is hoping for a “magic wand” - an item that typically comes into power when waved in a circular motion). Characters circle others in an attempt to ensnare and devour them like wolves while completely unaware of the camera –the disquieting forces of their world– indulging in the same predatory motions to unravel them. Anna’s tentacle lover does not need to continue this ritual of continually coiling itself around her once it has her in it’s grasp because she has already made herself open and willing to it – a desire that Mark is unable to wean out of her.

The subway scene was a remarkable performance, but only part I found genuinely difficult to watch was the ballet scene where Anna holds one of her dancers in place until she is screaming in pain. The intentions are not lost on the viewer, Anna is giving a visual demonstration of how she conceptualizes her relationship with Mark. She mimics his cold disposition while the dancer’s face contorts not wholly unlike Anna’s episodes. Mark’s presence compressed Anna into the role of a good wife during their time together, and his absence during his mission relieved her of just enough space to writhe in misery.

Mark never fully comes to understand why Anna is the way she is, and for all the throwing of himself at her feet he does, he is incapable of responding with empathy when Anna tries to put her feelings into words – a dynamic she carries her own concepts of (”because you could say “I” for me”). I found it interesting that Helen’s existence not only further illuminated Anna’s isolation, but also what Mark sees as what he owes in their relationship. Mark only exhibits comfort as a provider for his family, and the most amount of intimacy he engages in with Helen (who is the idealized version of his wife) regards caring for his son. The farthest extent in which their relationship progresses intimately as individuals is lying next to one another with explicitly non sexual intentions. I suppose that this provides the most reasonable answer for why there exists this chasm in their communication – he knows how to play his role and does not understand why she cannot play hers.

verysmartguy

Yes, I’m thinking about him. But I recognize the self who has just done something horrible like a sister I’ve casually met on the street. “Hello, sister!” It’s like there’s two sisters of Faith and Chance. My Faith can’t exclude Chance, but my Chance can’t explain Faith. My Faith didn’t allow me to wait for Chance, and Chance didn’t give me enough Faith. And then I read that private life is a stage, only I’m playing in many parts that are smaller than me, and yet I still play them, I suffer, I believe, I am! But at the same time I know there’s a third possibility, like cancer, or madness, but cancer or madness contort reality. The possibility I’m talking about pierces reality. Oh, I’m unable to say it, maybe. Maybe it’s impossible to say, or maybe I’m too stupid. You’re looking at me as if to tell me that I need you to fill me up, as if I’m an empty space. Well, I love you too, but what makes me go on is to know he’ll return, and I’ll make him suffer, and I’ll hurt him, and I’m betraying him, but this brings me small rewards. Well, but yet…I can’t exist by myself because I’m afraid of myself. Because I’m the maker of my own evil! Goodness is only some kind of reflection upon evil. That’s all it is.

milflewis

it’s just. Grief. it’s as bizarre and random and unfathomable as an alien coming down mid ceremony despite always talking aliens. despite dedicating your entire life to them. despite naming a fucking city for them. still. it is impossible to understand and to fully imagine until it is right there in front of you and still! still you can do nothing but stare. that little alien giving and taking and arriving and leaving no matter what they say or do. happening despite! the clock being unable to be understood and comprehended until the day the alien (grief) comes. no time left to prepare. no time to stop it. bc you can’t. bc it just is. bc it’s just happens. and it confuses everything. playing a character that is mourning his wife while mourning your lover who wrote your story. who picked you. your the wife who played my actor. use your grief. trying to do grieve right which is an impossible task! it cannot be done! even if it is a grief that can be expressed which this movie implies that it cannot! it just is! you will never understand it and it will never have more of a meaning than what it is but we can do nothing but try and try and try anyway! despite!